18th Healing | Coaching for Women with ADHD

Sound familiar?

Everyone sees you getting it done.

No one sees what it takes, or how little is left after.

Your boss thinks you’re on top of everything.

Your kitchen knows otherwise.

It looks like you don’t care.

You’ve never tried harder at anything.

You’re told you have so much potential.

You can’t make yourself start.

One comment in a meeting.

You’re still replaying it at midnight.

You remember everyone’s everything.

Your own things are the first to drop.

Ilana smiling outdoors in front of green trees — **Ilana**Coach, 18th Healing

Meet your coach

Hi, I’m Ilana.

You’ve spent years being told to try harder, by people who had no idea how hard you were already trying.

I’ve coached women with ADHD who look like they have it all together on the outside but are exhausted from trying to keep it that way. I’ve seen how much energy goes into keeping all the plates spinning, masking at work, worrying about what might have been missed, and feeling guilty when it still doesn’t feel like enough.

I’ve also spent years managing people and helping them succeed at work, including people who told me they have ADHD. That experience has shaped how I think about what it actually takes to do your best work. I’ve seen how easily capable people can struggle when they’re expected to operate in ways that don’t play to their strengths, and how much of a difference it makes when they have the right support and systems in place.

My partner has ADHD, and through friends and family, I’ve seen how often people blame themselves for struggling to meet expectations that were never designed with their needs in mind. Too often, neurodivergent people are left feeling like they’re the problem when the systems they’re trying to fit into are the real obstacle.

I don’t think you need to spend your life trying to force yourself to work like someone else.

Read more about how we’d work togetherShow less

In our work together, we’ll figure out where things tend to break down for you and why. Maybe you struggle to prioritize when everything feels urgent, lose track of tasks despite your best intentions, put off work you don’t know how to start, or spend hours trying to catch up.

We’ll build practical systems, routines, and strategies around how you actually function, whether that means managing your workload, following through on commitments, staying organized, or making your days feel more manageable. The goal isn’t to create a perfect system you’ll abandon two weeks later. It’s to find approaches you can realistically use, adapt, and rely on.

We’ll also work on letting go of the shame and guilt that can build up when you’ve spent years believing you just need to try harder. Sometimes that means learning to advocate for what you need, changing how you approach your work, or finding ways to get support that allow you to thrive.

Because this isn’t just about getting more done. It’s about spending less energy trying to hold everything together, having something left for your life outside of work, and recognizing that the way your brain works isn’t a flaw to fix. You have strengths, abilities, and ways of thinking worth building on.

Life doesn’t have to feel this hard. And you don’t have to become someone else to make it work.

How we work together

From mental overload to a system that works for you.

You don’t need another method to keep up with. You need to understand what works for your brain, what’s getting in your way, and how to make things easier to manage. We start there, then build around the way you actually function.

1Understand what’s working, and what isn’t.
We start with you, not a formula. What comes naturally? Where do you get stuck? What have you tried, and why hasn’t it stuck? We’ll look at how you work, where things tend to break down, and what’s making everyday tasks harder than they need to be. No judgment. No assumptions about what you should be able to do.
2Get everything out of your head.
When you’re trying to remember everything, prioritize everything, and keep track of everything, even small tasks can feel overwhelming. We’ll get it all out of your head and somewhere you can actually see it. Then we’ll work out what matters now, what can wait, and what you can let go of. You don’t have to treat every task like an emergency.
3Build systems that work with your brain.
Whether it’s getting started, staying focused, following through, or keeping track of what matters, we’ll build practical systems around the things you find hardest. We’ll use what helps you get moving, account for what tends to throw you off, and make the next step easier to take. So starting doesn’t depend on panic.
4Make it work in real life.
Your system needs to work when you’re tired, distracted, overwhelmed, or dealing with a week that goes completely sideways. We’ll start small, figure out what you can realistically maintain, and adjust as we learn what works. A difficult week shouldn’t mean starting over.

This weekWorkLife

+6 parked for laterWeekly reset · Sundays, 15 min

“I have so much to do. Where do I even start?”

What this looks like

One woman’s story

01The struggle

Everyone thought she was fine. She was running on empty.

At work, she was capable, dependable, and on top of things. What people didn’t see was the effort it took to keep it that way. The constant second-guessing. The fear she’d forgotten something important. The mental load that followed her home long after the workday ended.

02The realization

We looked at what it was really costing her.

Not just the workload, but the energy spent masking, overthinking, and trying to hold everything together. We identified where she was getting stuck, what was draining her, and what she’d been carrying that she didn’t need to carry alone. No judgment. No telling her to try harder.

03The shift

She stopped relying on herself to remember everything.

We built practical systems around how she actually worked. The tasks she worried about forgetting had somewhere to live. Priorities became clearer. She had a way to keep track of what mattered without having to mentally rehearse her entire workload just to feel in control.

04The advocacy

She started asking for what she needed.

We identified what would make her work more manageable and how to communicate those needs. She built the confidence to advocate for herself and took action, rather than continuing to work around challenges that didn’t need to be hers alone to solve.

05The result

She’s thriving at work. And she has a life outside it.

She has systems she can rely on, more confidence in how she works, and less energy tied up in trying not to drop a ball. She’s doing well professionally without sacrificing so much of herself to make it happen. And when the workday ends, she has more left for everything else that matters.

One client’s story, shared without identifying details. It’s a common one.

What we work on

We start with work. It rarely stays there.

Maybe you’re struggling to keep up, questioning your next career move, or wondering why things that seem easy for other people take so much effort.

We’ll start wherever you are. And when the challenges at work turn out to be connected to what’s happening at home, in your relationships, or in how you see yourself, we’ll make space for that, too.

Your career

Build a career that works for you, not one you have to constantly fight to keep up with. Explore career coachingShow less

Finding work that fits your strengths, interests, and how your brain works
Navigating career changes, job searches, burnout, and workplace challenges
Understanding what’s keeping you stuck professionally and figuring out what comes next
Breaking big goals into manageable steps you can actually get started on
Making your contributions visible, advocating for yourself, and navigating workplace expectations

I’ve sat on the manager’s side of performance reviews. I understand that doing good work and making sure that work is recognized aren’t always the same thing. We’ll look at both.

The day-to-day

Make everyday life feel less like something you’re constantly trying to catch up with. Explore day-to-day supportShow less

Getting organized when everything feels overwhelming
Starting tasks, managing procrastination, and following through
Managing time, setting priorities, and building routines that work in real life
Getting mental clutter out of your head and reducing decision fatigue
Rebuilding confidence after years of feeling like you’re not living up to your potential

The goal isn’t to become perfectly organized or productive every minute of the day. It’s to spend less energy keeping everything together and have more left for the rest of your life.

Beyond work

Because you’re more than what you get done. Explore life beyond workShow less

Setting boundaries without feeling like you’re letting everyone down
Understanding patterns in your relationships and communication
Letting go of the guilt and self-criticism that come with years of feeling behind
Making room for rest, interests, and a life that isn’t organized entirely around what needs to get done

The point isn’t only to do more. It’s a life that doesn’t take so much effort just to keep running.

The podcast

Off Autopilot: Now What?

Short enough for a commute. Each episode takes one thing that keeps you stuck, like people-pleasing, overthinking, or never feeling like it’s enough, and gives you something to do about it.

A real story. So you know you’re not the only one.
One question to ask yourself. The kind a coach would ask.
One thing to try this week. Usually ten minutes or less.
How it plays out with ADHD. In every new episode.

About 15 minutes each

Listen on Spotify

What clients say

Not only did I land the job of my dreams, but I also feel like I got myself back. My time is mine. I’m doing what I want in life. I couldn’t say that before I worked with Ilana.

Claire R., former coaching client

I had no clue the thoughts and beliefs I held about so many things. Ilana helped me identify where they came from and choose a different path forward. She held me accountable in a gentle but firm way and really changed my life.

Megan M., former coaching client

Ilana is an incredible thought partner and accountability buddy for anything you might be facing in life. I highly recommend Ilana as a coach and I would hire her again to help me reach any goal or get clear on any life decision.

Vikki S., former coaching client

Questions people ask

Do I need a diagnosis?

No. Diagnosed or strongly suspecting, you’re welcome here.

What if I’ve already tried every planner, app, and system?

Then we won’t start with another one. We start with what you’ve tried, where each one stopped working, and why. What we build comes from that, so it fits your actual life and has a small version for the hard weeks.

What if I don’t know exactly what I need help with?

That’s fine. You don’t need a tidy list of goals before we talk. Working out what’s getting in the way is part of what we do together, and we can start with whatever feels hardest right now.

What happens in a discovery session?

A short, free conversation, no rehearsed version needed. You tell me where you are, I tell you how I work.

What does coaching cost?

We go through pricing together on the discovery session, once I understand what you need.

Is this therapy?

No. Coaching isn’t therapy or medical care. If you’re working with a therapist or doctor, coaching can sit alongside that.

Free quiz and workbook

Start with where it breaks down.

A two-minute quiz maps where your week comes apart. Then you can get the free workbook for your result. There are six. Each has a five-minute version for a low-battery day, and the full workbook takes about 20 minutes.

Take the quiz

Getting startedThe Doorway

Staying on one thingThe Parking Spot

Keeping it goingThe Bad-Day Version

Bouncing backTwo Columns

Keeping trackOne Place

Pausing firstThe Borrowed Day

You’ve made it look easy for long enough.

Let’s build the systems that carry some of it for you.

Book a discovery session A conversation about where you are and what would help. No pressure.

You make it look easy. It isn’t.

Where does it break down for you?